HELLO Uncle T, I am a 43-year-old Black business woman living in Sunninghill with my 3 children. I am currently going through divorce procedures with my ex-partner and as much as I can’t wait for him and I to be officially over, I hate what he is doing to me!
Just last month, he suggested a new maid for me, a very good looking young lady from Lesotho, who also happens to be his girlfriend. At first, I didn’t know that she was with him, until she asked me how I knew her man? Turns out, they’ve been dating for at least a year, which goes back to when him and I were still together!
The thing is, I don’t know how to burst this young lady’s bubble and tell her that the guy whom she claims is ‘’her man,’’ is actually my former husband. Apparently, the two are supposed to be getting married soon, but it will probably delay because he won’t tell her about me. I can’t stand it when this girl talks about him, it feels like she’s throwing salt at an open wound. Now I’m thinking of firing her, I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS, help! Anonymous
First of all, under the employment-at-will doctrine, an employer can generally fire an employee for any reason or for no reason at all. However, there are some things that an employer can’t fire an employee for. The reason that you stated has nothing to do with her duties as your employee, and this will negatively impact on you, so let’s skip the firing part dear.
Clearly your husband hasn’t been a faithful partner, but we can’t put that on the young lady because clearly, she has been lied to too. The fact that she asks you how you know her man, clearly shows that there hasn’t been any information shared to her about your marriage. I also wouldn’t suggest that you ‘’burst her bubble and tell her,’’ because the same bubble you are trying to burst, might blow up in your face. Remember, you are dealing with a liar here, your former husband, and if he can manage to lie to this woman this whole time, what makes you think he won’t spin this to his advantage?
My advice to you is; there are greater things you can invest your energy in out there, like your business and children. You can’t be wasting all of that on your ex-husband. The reason why you and him are on separate paths is because he’s toxic in your life and you clearly don’t need that.
Uncle T’s Advice