Hello Uncle T, I am a 37-year-old man who is ashamed of himself for cheating on my wife and contracted the HIV virus in the process. I work as a site manager for a steel company and I am currently facing a huge problem that I cannot solve because it will shame me and destroy my marriage in the process.
My wife and I have been married for 7 years now and to be honest with you, I haven’t been a loyal husband and now God is punishing me for that. Six months ago, I went for lunch at a local restaurant just to spoil myself after payday and that’s when I came across this very attractive, sexy and well-spoken woman who captured my attention the very moment I gazed upon her. Everything about her was perfect, her scent, her attire, her body and her smile, I told myself I wouldn’t leave without getting her numbers and setting up a date with her.
After she ordered her food, I introduced myself and got well acquainted with this mysterious woman who soon destroyed my life. After two months of getting to know each other, she invited me over to her place and told me she had cooked just to return the favour of offering her a lift back home. On arrival at her place, I was treated to a massage, a fine 2-course meal that included a few glasses of wine. I kept wondering why she was so trustworthy, but then the thought of her being a mature woman clouded my judgement.
After the meal and a moment of flirtation under the dim lights and some good music, things got steamy and that’s when I made the biggest mistake of my life by having unprotected sex. Because she was good-looking, I told myself there was no way in the world, she could have any diseases, but it seems I was wrong. Two weeks back, we had our usual monthly check-ups at work and that’s when I was told the bad news that I am HIV positive.
To summarize the whole story, I was shocked, confused and felt like God cursed me for cheating on a loyal woman. To make things worse, my wife, who is 34-year-old is now on my case about getting children. I don’t have a problem with that, but how do I do that when I know I am affected and having children will mean I have to affect her as well. I feel like I am trapped, please help me Uncle T! —- Anonymous
Hello there,
It seems like you are expecting advice on how to dodge your way out of this mess, to be honest with you, nobody can stop the inevitable from happening. Eventually, your wife is going to find out about everything, that’s just how it is when it comes to the truth. The way I see it, this situation is a lesson to us all that no matter how much we lie, the truth will always come out in the end.
My advice to you is to be the one who tells your wife everything before she finds out herself because if she does, chances of her forgiving you after that would be slim to nothing. Being infected does not mean it’s the end of the world, it actually means you need to start living a healthy life. By that, I’m not only referring to the food you consume, but also how you live and sticking to one partner.
I know it is hard, but telling your wife everything and helping her to protect herself from getting infected is better than living with the guilt of knowing that you infected an innocent soul. If your wife decides to forgive you for this, then I suggest you start changing your ways and also start attending counselling and learning more about the HIV/AIDS virus and how you can be parents without infecting your offspring.
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Picture credit: BBC
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