Hello Uncle T, I am a 42-year-old janitor living with my wife and 3 children in Port Elizabeth. I wouldn’t say I am rich, but I am simply blessed to have 2 beautiful daughters and one son, whom I’m trying to groom since he’s the only son I have.

However, that seems to be a hard job for me especially since all he does is the opposite of what normal young boys do. Instead of going out there to climb trees and hunt for birds, he wants to play doll with his sisters, instead of playing soccer with the other boys around, he wants to play house & be the mother (breastfeed the dolls etc).

I want my son to grow up to be like me, not something else that will cause problems for us. I am not saying I have a problem with homosexuality, but how will he go to initiation school and become a man if he is busy pretending to be a woman? Is there any advice you can give me to change him?

Hello there,

I understand your concerns as a father and trust me, I myself sometimes wish that my son would be a total duplication of me. However, due to everyone having rights and responsibilities nowadays, we are not entitled to choose what our children should or shouldn’t be. In fact, we are entitled to supporting them in each and every decision they take, regardless of what or how we want them to be.

I also find absolutely nothing wrong with being homosexual, if he really is, then that doesn’t mean he is any less of a man, it’s just his sexual preference.  What kills us the most as African parents is the fact that we care too much about what people say or think about us more than we care about what we think of ourselves. However, here’s the thing about people, you do good, they talk, you do bad, they still talk, it’s just the way things should be.

So I urge you to cure your ‘’what will people say’’ infection, break the cycle, and support your son without any hesitations or limits.

Uncle T’s advice

Picture credit: Macalester College

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