Being in a relationship with someone who is already in another relationship is never a good idea, more so because there is already more than one person involved and the end result will always be in the form of someone getting hurt in more ways than one.
1. They’re not easy to trust
We can’t be naïve and think it is easy to trust a person who has more than one partner, if and when you are approached by a person who is in a relationship, that on its own is a huge red flag for why are they even looking to date outside of their current relationship. Often in these sorts of relationships, there is a lot of lying going on. The person who is usually lied to is your partner’s girlfriend/boyfriend. And if they’re lying to that person, how sure are you that they’re not lying to you. They may say something on the lines of: “I’m going to leave that person for you” or (maybe to discourage you from using a condom) “I don’t sleep with that person anymore, you’re the only one I’m sleeping with.”
If they can lie to their partners, there’s no guarantee that they are telling you the truth.
2. More partners, more risk
It is common sense to understand that if a relationship consists of more than two people then it is automatically a risk. It automatically puts you at risk of contracting sexually transmitted illnesses (STIs), including HIV. Most people tend to believe that only married people who have partners outside marriage are HIV risk-free but that is not the case, instead, those are the ones who at more risk because of the secrecy in which they are manoeuvring. This doesn’t mean they are using protection and not sleeping around. They could be sleeping with you and sleeping with others. Or their other partner could also be sleeping with others and then sleeping with them, putting YOU at risk. The point is, you can’t be sure who is being faithful to whom when there are more than two people involved in a relationship.
3. It can make you seem desperate
When any relationship starts, it tends to feel good and we often wish for that feeling to never end because it may feel like that person will eventually choose you over their partner, how wrong and misled we are. This is especially if you ask them to leave their partner and they refuse; stringing you along. It’s not a great feeling when you feel like you’re someone’s second option or ‘night-time lover’. This can make you feel used.
You may have always heard that you should go after what you want and not let anything stop you. And yes, you should go after what you want, but only if it’s healthy and doesn’t cause harm. Dating someone who is already in a relationship is not healthy. Any relationship that you enter into should be a healthy one based on trust, honesty, support, commitment and respect. Someone who is already in a relationship can’t always offer you all of these things because they already don’t offer it in their current relationships.
Main Image: Qilin’s prance Filmmaker (Shutterstock)