Hello there. If you’re reading this, you’ve landed on the Dear Sis page. Here, I listen to your problem and give you advice. We all need someone to talk to, right? Dear Sis is here for you. I will listen and respond, and the cool thing is that you are completely anonymous. Let’s talk.
I received a question from anonymous who wrote:
‘Dear Sis please help me. I want to forgive my partner for cheating on me but yooh its very hard cause he keeps on doing the same thing soon only to apologize. We’ve got 33 years together. I need advice please.’
This is not an easy position to be in. Forgiveness means a lot of things to a lot of people. We interpret It differently. In your case, you have 33 years tied to your partner, which makes the decision even more difficult.
Let’s weigh your situation: If you stay and forgive your partner, you could risk him doing this to you over and over again. There’s a saying that goes “You show people how to treat you”. If you keep forgiving, when will the cheating end? When will you get to a point where you can’t forgive anymore? Are you actually forgiving him or are you holding onto the 33 years that you have been with him?
If you don’t forgive him, will you feel any better about not being the sacrifice anymore?
When you talk to him, does he explain why he’s cheating on you? Does he know why he’s doing it?
Cheating has become so normalized that it’s not seen as wrong anymore. You deserve to be loved unconditionally. You don’t deserve to be cheated on. You don’t deserve to always be on the edge of your seat wondering who your partner is with when he is not with you. It messes with you. It makes you feel insecure because you are always in the dark.
What's your hot take on this story?
Love is beautiful if done right. Do it right. Tell your partner why it is difficult for you to forgive him so he also has something to think about the next time he is tempted because he seems to be the one who wants to explore outside of your relationship.
To forgive is easy, to forget is hard.
The choice will always be yours to make. Make sure you can live with yourself after making a decision. It’s not about how long you’ve been together, it’s about how you felt during that time. If he makes you happy, then find ways such as therapy to speak to each other in a neutral environment. If not, be happy that you no longer have to worry about being cheated on because you can’t cheat on yourself.
Feel free to contact your local clinic for free therapy if you still need more advice on this. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.
All the best and I hope you will be okay.
Sis
