The Unbecoming To Become author and Isibaya actress Ayanda Borotho and her daughter Ayaphiwa Ngubane, have once again taken the stand to speak out on gender-based violence, recounting the harassment they have received at the hands of men.
In their latest episode of their Conversations With Our Daughters IGTV series, the two mentioned how being “catcalled” everyday made them even believe that it was just the norm, even though it made them feel uncomfortable.
Ayaphiwa admitted that she was more concerned about her safety on campus than her results as she is set to start varsity next year. She also recounted the time she ate grass to pretend she was mentally ill, to avoid the advances of a man.
“I will never forget. I was walking back to my grans house and this guy had followed me there and back, basically demanding my name and number … I didn’t feel safe. There was a veld in front of me with straw grass. So, I remember going there and eating. I took a big nice chunk and ate it, and acted crazy so this guy would go away. That is what ended up happening, he left me alone.”
Ayanda also mentions that there are a lot of incidents of sexual assault that she went through and she said she tries to hold herself when she speaks about these things, especially when speaking about her experience of being raped by a man that she was in a relationship with.
Ayanda has spoken before on “toxic” relationships and said that when you live in the “darkness” it soon starts to look like light. “When you live in toxicity for too long, even darkness looks like light. When you surround yourself with mediocrity for too long, even your greatness will start to look average.”- she said
They encouraged women to report men, including your partner, if they forced themselves on you.