Here’s how to deal with a man who disappears in December!

December is here guys, we all know that most of us are going to be spending a lot of lonely nights since the festive seems to always have some sort of negative influence on the other gender.

Some of us are going to be dealing with men who disappear every weekend because the bonuses are burning their pockets and the Amapiano waves are calling their names.

Here’s a scenario that might sound familiar. You’re seeing a guy for a little while, it could be weeks or maybe months. You text a lot, hang out, have fun, December comes, he gets paid…….

Then poof … he’s gone. He left you with the kids, disappeared and has vanished without a trace.

He might do the slow fade out, meaning he starts disappearing on Fridays, comes back Monday smelling like a bag of spoiled sorghum and cooks up a lazy story like ”my friend got dumped, so we stayed over his place this weekend to comfort him”

When this happens, the girl becomes desperate to know why. Maybe his vanishing act came after a period of him pulling away. Or maybe it came suddenly, out of the blue. It doesn’t matter, it means the same thing: he doesn’t respect you and your relationship and feels that those girls out there who are currently giving him attention are into him.

I’ve been there, so, believe me, I know how guys get oblivious to women predators who prey on their bonuses every December.

Like many men, I’d always be too busy for my woman and start ”living my best life” forgetting the only person who was there for me the entire year of no bonuses and a shitty salary.

OK, so now that we know why, let’s talk about what to do to help you deal with a guy who disappears in December.

1. Don’t reach out to him….

Under any circumstances! He may have left you, don’t let him take your dignity with him. Girls will come up with all kinds of deluded reasons why they absolutely must initiate contact. I just need closure! I want to know how he’s doing! I HAVE to tell him about this really funny thing that happened!


2. Don’t take it personally.

When a guy disappears, it’s almost inevitable to feel a flood of self-doubt. What did I do wrong? Why wasn’t I good enough?

You didn’t do anything wrong and you are “good enough” to have the relationship you want with a man you want, this guy is just childish.


3. Stay busy.

As with most painful experiences… only time will heal. As time works its magic, the best thing you can do is stay as busy as possible. Immerse yourself in work, spend time with friends, check out a cool new bar or museum, try out a new exercise class. Keep your schedule jam-packed so there isn’t a crack for him to slip right in. And do NOT check up on him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or any other social media portal.

If you feel the need to check up on him, go look at funny YouTube videos or call a friend. Staying busy and keeping your life fun and fulfilling will also have positive long-term results and will put you in a better position to attract an even better guy.

4. Be gentle with yourself and have some sympathy for your emotions

Whatever you’re feeling is a normal response to a shitty situation. It would be more worrying if this situation didn’t affect you in a negative way.

5. Make sure you’re sleeping, eating well, practising mindfulness and exercising

Good physical health helps maintain good mental health. Meditate, do yoga and practice mindfulness. Basically do anything that makes you feel good and reminds you that you’re perfectly capable of looking after yourself.

6: Leave his sorry ass sister!

I know it is not easy leaving somebody you’ve been with for some time.. but while he’s out there grooving his cash away, teach yourself to live without him.. then applaud him with the element of surprise in January when all the partying and money fades away.. LEAVE HIS SORRY ASS and go for a holiday ntombo!

Main Image: Ebony Magazine