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    How to keep him hard after he shoots his ”shot”

    Sometimes winding down leads right into starting up again. And indulging in a second mattress session could increase your orgasmic potential because, according to Joan Elizabeth Lloyd, who writes about sex, when your body is still turned on from a previous round, it’s easier to climax. Plus, chances are your man won’t come as quickly the second time, so he’ll have more time to dedicate to pleasing you.

    But you can’t just expect sex after sex. And it’s certainly not smart to demand it, because when it comes to repeat performances, women have an anatomical advantage. “As long as she’s aroused and lubricated, a woman is physically capable of having sex as many times as she wants without a break in between,” explains Drogo K. Montague, MD, of the Cleveland Clinic Glickman Urological Institute.

    Guys, however, aren’t so lucky. No matter how sexed up their minds are, their members need time to recharge. “On average, a man in his 20s needs 5 to 30 minutes following his first orgasm to attain an erection again,” says Dr. Montague. (A 30-something dude will need a few more minutes of recovery time; the older the man, the longer it takes for him to get that second erection.) That’s because after a guy ejaculates, the muscles in his penis automatically relax, and the blood flow that caused his erection in the first place decreases.

    Your strategy: Give him time to recuperate while keeping him sexually focused. To do that, tell him how good he makes you feel — a carnal compliment strokes his ego and keeps his brain tuned to sex. One detail worth noting: Stick to the present tense. Avoid saying such things as “That was great, big guy, but I’m still raring to go and time’s a wastin’.” Telling him how hot he was signals that it’s over. Instead, say how hot he is and you’ll subliminally help him segue into round two.

    But while you want to allow a refractory period, don’t give him too much space or there’s a chance he’ll doze off — or worse, turn on the TV! That said, you also can’t pounce on his penis like it’s the last cute skirt on the sale rack. “After a guy ejaculates, his penis is ultrasensitive,” says Lloyd. “If you touch him there even gently following a climax, he’ll probably yelp.” A good plan of action is to try some innocent yet arousing body contact. “After he’s caught his breath, curl up against him so your tush grazes his crotch,” suggests Lloyd. “Or if he’s on his belly, arch your body on top of him and let just your nipples skim his back.”

    Then start caressing his chest, back, and shoulders. The point is to be suggestive and playful, not demanding. “If he thinks that you’re giving him an ultimatum about having sex again, he might worry so much about getting it up that it won’t happen at all,” says Lloyd. After several minutes, your man should be ready for a more direct hands-on approach. Start his engine by brushing your lips against his testicles, then move on to his shaft. “Just work up to touching or licking the head of his penis slowly — it stays sensitive the longest after orgasm,” says Lloyd.

    While men in their 20s and early 30s should have no problem getting it up twice in a night, you need to remember that there are different degrees of penis rigidity — just because he’s not wielding a rock-hard erection the entire time doesn’t mean he’s not into having sex with you.

    Instead, enjoy all phases of his longer-if-not-stronger erection, and feel free to take intercourse breaks to allow for other action. You may decide to stop and just kiss — hard and deep — while his penis rebounds. Or you may ask for a little manual magic while reminding him of how great he’s making you feel.

    SECOND-TIME SUGGESTIONS

    Whether you haven’t had your big O yet — or you just want more, you greedy girl! — you can use this repeat performance to sample some new positions, act out fantasies, or alter the tone and tempo of the encounter. And the second time around doesn’t have to be just a rerun — a slower, deeper, and more intense experience can come after a wham-bam session. “The follow-up round is usually less frantic, so you have more time to indulge secret desires and dream up sexy scenarios,” says Lloyd. “Without that erotic urgency, you can concentrate on teasing each other with foreplay, talking dirty, role-playing, and other seductive moves that take a little time and imagination.”

    There’s a practical reason to change things up too — if your man did most of the work initially, it’s only fair for you to take the power position next.

    Think of your night of recurring delight as if it were a road trip — he drives for the first leg, then you take the wheel in the home stretch and allow him to kick back. That might mean you on top this time, a move designed for your pleasure since you get to control the pace and pressure. Or you can try spoon-style sex, where you lie with his chest to your back.

    You don’t always have to make a major modification to your erotic repertoire to snag sequel benefits. Small mood changes such as putting in a new CD, lighting a few candles, or leading each other to a different room in the house will get you both so cranked up, you may even want to go for round three.

     

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