Logo purses, brand names, flashy cars, and even flashier rings have typically signified status among the wealthy.
But these hallmarks of status are slowly giving way to some more unexpected status symbols.
While they might make you feel full of life, to everyone else they just make you look like, well, a D. So what to avoid? Right now, these…
1. Finance merch
Nothing says “worker bee” quite like a hoodie emblazoned with the logo of the bank where you spend 100 hours a week not seeing your children.
2. Putting letters after your name in your email signature
“BA Hons, CAM, MCIPR…” Think you forgot your 50-metre swimming certificate.
3. A family crest signet ring
Are you landed gentry? No, you are a Fulham estate agent with your employer’s URL on the side of your car.
4. Having two dining tables in your dining room
Well done. Now all the guests who aren’t on “your” one think you hate them.
5. Sitting in the C-suite but refusing to own a phone
You’re not mindful, you’re really, really annoying.
6. Giving your children objectively acceptable names but spelling them incorrectly
Pity poor Alexzander.
7. ‘It’ water bottles
O tempora, o mores!
8. Literary magazine tote bags
Are you that person who performatively laughs during Shakespeare plays?
9. Humblebragging your Barbados lockdown relocation #workhardfromanywhere #entrepreneurlife
10. Complaining about the cost of your Equinox sleep coach
11. Having your own SPAC
It’s the new “having your own cryptocurrency”. And we all know how that went.
12. Joining a debenture-only golf club
Sure, it tells everyone you can afford it. But it also tells everyone you’re a golf bore.
13. Decorating your living room with a suspiciously immaculate Steinway grand
Go on then, play us a tune…
14. Iced-out, aftermarket-customised timepieces
It doesn’t matter if the watch underneath is sought-after. You’re now wearing the wrist equivalent of Lil Uzi Vert’s forehead diamond.
15. Top-tier frequent-flyer status
Air travel isn’t going away, but you might want to keep the enormity of your carbon footprint to yourself.
16. Walking an expensive, purebred lockdown puppy
Adopt, don’t shop, gentlemen.
17. Keyring cigar cutters
Yay, mouth cancer!
18. Wrapping your car in fashion brand logos
It makes a personalised plate look like the height of sophistication.
Main Image: Regal Jewellery Buyers