Being unemployed and depending on her is killing me, please help!

Hello Uncle T, I am a 33-year-old unemployed black male living in Tzaneen who is in serious need of your advice because I can’t take it anymore. Ever since I lost my job back in 2014, my life has been a living nightmare because I now depend on my girlfriend for food and everything, and that is seriously killing me because she expects a lot from me.

As a man who follows tradition, I feel ashamed to be disclosing the fact that I have to cook, clean, do everything for my girlfriend just because she’s working. She expects me to do everything while she is away at work and I can’t seriously deal with that because my neighbours gossip me. I am tired of living this life, a man needs to be well-taken care of by his woman, not the other way around.

I was looking after her when she wasn’t working back then, now is her turn to do that, why does she expect me to do all those crazy stuff? Please advise as to what I should do in this situation.

Hello there,

I do not mean to sound biased/taking sides, but I feel as if I should alert that cleaning, cooking, and doing the basics chores in the house does not make you less of a man. In fact, this proves how much you appreciate her efforts, how much you appreciate her waking up every day to hustle for the both of you without hesitation. I urge you to put those stereotypes behind you, forget about what people think of you, and start appreciating the fact that someone is willing to wake up every day just so you can have that plate on the table.

I know it can be tiring to do all the chores alone, but imagine how tiring it would be for her to go to work, work hard, and then come back home to clean and cook again, that’s frustrating. Consider yourself lucky to have someone who’s willing to wake up every day for you as a man and not hesitate about  it. I think you should also focus on finding yourself another job, rather than to focus on all the negative energy.

Uncle T’s advice

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