Dear Uncle T, I’ve been with my boyfriend for the past 6 months and as unbelievable as it may sound, I’ve never really had an orgasm during our moments. I would be lying also if I said it’s because he doesn’t know how to perform, but he does. Problem is, each and every time him and I get intimate, I get these sharp pains which are very discomforting for me.
For these past 6 months, I have been faking my orgasms because of these pains. I really love my boyfriend, that is why I haven’t told him about this problem. I am afraid if tell him, this might demoralize him or cripple his ego as a man. Please advice on what I should do. – Anonymous, Gauteng.
Dear Anonymous,
I commend you for recognizing what the problem is.
The most important factor in any relationship is communication. The orgasm is not only physically powerful for women, but also psychologically powerful for men, which is not surprising. A man will feel more like a man if he knows he can satisfy a woman’s sexual needs, but how does that make him a man if what he thinks is not really true?
I understand that you want to see him happy and satisfied, but if you are not enjoying it, then what good does you being intimate with him bring? Yes, faking an orgasm will put a smile on his face, but how does that bring peace in your heart?
Another point we shouldn’t avoid is that If a woman is experiencing pain or discomfort during intercourse, it could be an indication that something is medically wrong. And while you might be working on feeding his ego, you might be putting your life at risk.
My advice to you, go and get medical attention. The problem might be deeper than what we think it is and might result in further damage if avoided. But before you can seek medical attention, make sure you alert your problem about this problem. I am not saying you should mention that you faked an orgasm for 6 months, (it’s might break his trust for you) but you can alert him that you are finding great discomfort during your intimate moments and think it’s wise of you to go see a gynae or something.
Uncle T’s advice.
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